Insanity by Games
by EarthenAngel
Summary: The Naruto cast are forced to compete in a series of insane contests issued by an equally insane authoress! Chappie 2 is up! Next time, Naruto Idol Auditons!
1. Terrorizing The Cast

Hi-diddly-ho neighbors! As some of you dedicated fans might realize, this is a remake of one of my old fanfics. I hated it. So I'm redoing it!

* * *

A big stage was set up, lights streamed all over in bright, obnoxious colors. Two girls were standing on the stage.

The first was a slightly short, blonde girl, with a long ponytail. She wore a pair of low-waist jeans, pink shoes, and a hot pink shirt.

The other was a short girl, with short, layered blond hair. A black jacket covered a Gravitation shirt, and she had black pants. She was currently holding her head in two hands.

"Hey you guys! Sorry I was late. I have pudding!" shouted a new girl. She was tall. And she liked to rub it in other people's faces too. Anyway, she wore a golden tan tank top, camouflaged pants and combat boots. She had dirty blonde hair in a short, spiky ponytail, and had a blue forehead protector with a leaf insignia on it. She also had a big, stupid grin on her face. This my friends, is the authoress. The other two are her friends.

"Kri-"

"AIEE! Don't call me that! It's Earthen Angel! Or EA if it's too troublesome for you!" Screeched…EA.

"Fine…EA. I KNOW you would love Kakashi to the ends of the Earth, but that does NOT mean you should take his personality to heart." Calmly replied the Gravitation fanatic, Leeren.

"No. Seriously. See? Essence of Black Knight." Said EA as she showed them a cup of pudding. She then decided to start eating it in a…perverted way.

"Great EA. Just what you need. More sugar. So…why are we here again? I have characters to torture to you know." Asked the Harry Potter authoress, Katie.

"Meh. Fine, be that way. I'm doing a game fanfic. The three of us are going to each have two games to host. I'm hosting American Idol and Survivor, Katie, you're doing Whose Line and Fear Factor, and Leeren, you're doing I've Never and Poker." Replied EA.

"EA…what KIND of poker are you talking about?" Griped Leeren.

"Um…strip…" Answered EA.

Leeren then proceeded to walk up to a wall and bang her head on it. Most people would have died instantly, but Leeren happens to have a hard head. I believe it's from all the times we pelted crayons at her…

"Nice job EA." Sneered Katie.

"Umm…umm…" said EA as she just figured she had to help her friend. "Gai will be there!" Whoops. Bad idea.

Leeren stopped her banging, and slowly turned around. A maniacal glint was in her bright blue eyes.

"Meep!" Was all EA could say as she was chased around by the shrimpy, but Tsunade reincarnate member of the Sannin Authoresses.

Katie just stood there and watched, wishing she had a video camera and popcorn at her disposal.

A poof of smoke appeared as Leeren was stopped from attacking the authoress of this fic, and EA was lifted up about a foot off the ground.

A gloved hand rested around Leeren's neck. She looked up as the glint disappeared. Crap. It was Kakashi. EA, startled, closed her eyes, but then opened them again, and blinked rapidly. She was currently hanging over Kakashi's shoulder, with his arm around her waist.

She started to drool, and then passed out. Kakashi then dropped her on the floor of the stage. Miracously, she didn't wake up.

Several more poofs of smoke appeared, as the rest of the victims arrived. This included Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Iruka and…

Leeren, seeking revenge, called out to one of them. "Oi! Gai! She could use some help you know." Oh yes, this was going to be good.

"Yes, I shall do what you ask, my youth obsessed friend who is named after my youth obsessed protégé!" Yelled Gai in a youthful way. Every known person in a 5 mile radius range cringed and twitched.

Gai picked up EA, and set her on his back, piggy-back style. EA must still have been in a Kakashi obsessed daze, because almost suddenly, she buried into Gai's neck.

Katie yet again wished she had a camera.

"So…" Began Iruka. "What do you want us here for?"

"Well, since EA is…unconscious right now, I guess I have to tell you. You're here to participate, against your own free will, to compete in 6 games. And also…our first game will be American Idol, or Naruto Idol as we shall now call it."

"Thanks Leeren. And for you ninja peeps who have no idea of what we are talking about, Naruto Idol is a show where you sing, and three judges will say how you did. There's three rounds, and there will be eliminations. Good enough for you?"

"So…what you're saying is…we are going to be singing. Am I correct?" asked Kakashi.

"Yeppers. And so you guys don't have that much freedom, we will be picking out your songs." Replied Katie.

"Well…I guess we need EA to continue. So…we'll see everybody soon!"

* * *

Hi peeps! This is Katie here, saying to tune into the next edition! And yes, EA will be awake soon. Remind me to get a camera. Hmm…oh yeah! Don't forget to read my and Leeren's stories!


	2. Smutty Doujinshi For All!

So…this chapter HAD to be redone, so don't worry if it seems odd from the last one. It was way too crappy…

* * *

EA was very pissed off right now. And this my friends, was a very rare mood for this authoress. And who might she be pissed off at? If you guessed Leeren, you're correct! After her youth filled awakening, EA was able to blackmail a few people and…well, you can guess what happened after that.

So anyway, an angry EA was standing in front of a broom closet. A locked broom closet, if I might add, judging from the loud shouts coming from it. She laughed an evil laugh, and started to read her copy of FullMetal Alchemist.

* * *

While EA was holding up the people in the closet, it was Katie and Leeren's job to keep a lose eye on the 6 ninjas. Well, 7, if you count Rock Lee, who had been poofed in by EA…at sometime. This lead to major glompage.

"Since when did EA like Rock Lee?" asked Kakashi, who stood by Leeren, and Iruka on her other side.

"I dunno. Probably around the time when she became obsessed in IruKaka…"

"WAIT A MINUET! IRUKaka? Why the HELL am I bottom?" half asked, half yelled Kakashi.

Leeren shrugged. Iruka just stood there, a smug grin on his face.

"So… why is EA the authoress? What's to stop me from being the supreme ruler?"

"Why Kakashi, that's a stupid question. She's powerful, that's why."

"What the HELL do you mean? I could BREAK HER NECK in less than a second! What's so powerful about her?"

Leeren's eyes narrowed at the threat, "Stop bragging. There's three reasons. One, she's stubborn as a damn dwarf. Two, she can accuse someone of homosexuality, bestiality, and necrophilia, all in one sentence. And three, she has been known to spike drinks with large doses of Viagra. Happy?"

Kakashi decided to shut up, and to not ask any more questions.

* * *

Since Leeren had everything under…'control', Katie decided to check on EA to make sure she wasn't causing trouble…or destroying something…or blowing up marshmallow peeps in the microwave.

'_Hmm…'_ thought Katie,_ 'where the hell is EA?'_ She pondered this thought, and then decided to go with the idea that she had just stopped out for doughnuts or something. But suddenly she heard her friend's…loud voice coming from the inside of the broom closet. She put her ear to the door, and listened.

"There is NO way that I'm helping you with this."

"Well, SORRY! But you have no choice, so…"

"What do you mean, NO choice? I'll call my agent!"

"Sorry man, no phones work in this era."

"THIS ERA?"

"Yeah. The Naruto era."

There was a looonnnnngggg silence.

"Let's make this easy. Either you three help me with this, or you'll suffer the consequences."

"WHAT CONSEQUENCES?"

EA's voice became as hard as steel.

"Either you guys help me, or I'll be forced to tie you guys up, then read THIS to you."

Another long silence occurred.

"That's a…"

"Yep. A doujinshi. An NC-17 doujinshi. A doujinshi with the THREE of you guys in it. And it's very smutty if I might add…"

"Fine."

"Thanks, Brit boy. Nice talking to you."

EA walked out of the closet, then looked at Katie.

"You…you…you…you…"

"Stop stuttering Katie."

EA sidestepped her friend, pulled out her FullMetal Alchemist manga out of one of her numerous pockets, and walked off, cackling gleefully.

Katie stood still for a few moments, opened the door, and looked in. Standing in the closet were…HOLY FREAKIN' CRAP! Simon Cowell, Randy Jackson, and Paula Abdoul, the rather infamous judges of American Idol. _'I guess the rumors of EA having ties with the Japanese Mafia WAS true…'_

* * *

"Come on guys, the show's about to start!" chirped Katie.

EA was hurriedly running about in one of her rare times of organization, making sure that everything was in order, that the drinks were spike-uh…I mean…ready, and that none of the ninjas were maiming, decapitating (etc) each other.

This meant she had to stop Kakashi from killing Gai. Well, that was probably the 'nicest' way to put it, so she threatened them with another doujinshi, and went on her way.

Now that everything was A-OK, there was only thing missing. She stared at her clunky watch for- Yes. Watches can be clunky. And green…and have about 7 belts on it…and- Ok. You get the picture.

So anyway, EA was staring at her watch. She said an extremely long stream of curses, then started to pace back and forth.

"EA! Stop pacing! You're giving me a headache!" shouted Leeren.

"Why are you staring at me?" asked EA, suddenly.

5 seconds passed.

Leeren decided right then and there to throw her shoe at EA's head. Said authoress stood there for a moment, then wonked out.

"Wow Leeren, that was the second time EA's been unconscious and the end of a chapter."

"Hmm, I find it kind of funny." Leeren went back to whatever she was doing…

"Hokay."

A door slammed loudly.

"Sorry everybody! I didn't mean to be late! There was this ham sandwich, you see and..."

* * *

And there you go. The second chapter, all nice and neat. What's happening next chapter? Well…it includes auditions, an authoress 'trying' to rap, and spandex goodieness for all!


End file.
